


All shattered ones

by pamymex3girl



Series: Big Bang Stories [11]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Gen, Grieve, Loss, Lost Hero, M/M, relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-12
Updated: 2014-03-12
Packaged: 2018-01-15 12:31:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1304953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pamymex3girl/pseuds/pamymex3girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The day before it happened - it, being the disappearance of Percy Jackson - was just another normal day. </p><p>Everyone's reaction to the disappearance of their friend and leader.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> written for the angst big bang. I really love Percy Jackson and I wanted to write a story for it for ages. This one was sort of born out of wondering what happened to everyone else while Percy was missing. Hope someone likes this. 
> 
> Art made by susanmarier
> 
> I don't own anything.

 

 

I.

The morning after it happened – it, of course, being the disappearance of Percy Jackson – nobody realized anything had happened at all.

That, perhaps, is the worst part about that day.

Not his actual disappearance.

Not what everybody felt when they realized he was gone, excruciating though it was.

No, the worst part is that moment, that second, when they finally fully realized that he wasn’t just messing around. No their hero, their leader, their friend was actually missing, possibly – though nobody wants to think it, let alone say it out loud – dead. Really, the worst part is the guilt for not having realized, for not even having considered the possibility that something bad could ever happen to him. (But he’s a son of Poseidon and they should have known something would happen because he attracts more monsters than most other half-bloods.) It wasn’t until that afternoon when his sword fighting class rolled around and he wasn’t there that they realized he was truly gone. And they didn’t even know how long he’d been missing. He could have disappeared yesterday, just as soon as he stepped inside his cabin, he could have gone missing in the middle of the night, or, for all they knew, he could have gone missing five minutes before breakfast. It’s horrifying really to contemplate that their friend might have been dying somewhere while they were having fun.

(Annabeth might never forgive herself for that.)

In their own defense – not that anyone would ever really talk about that day again, not if they could help it – it wasn’t exactly the first time something like that had happened. Percy did sort of have the habit of suddenly disappearing without any warning or explanation. (If you were lucky, or more importantly, if you were Annabeth, you might get an explanation later.) There was that time last summer, right before their battle at Olympus, when he’d just been gone. Malcolm remembers, quite vividly in fact, how much Annabeth freaked out when she realized he was gone. (Not that he, or anyone else for that matter, would ever say that out loud, especially not to Percy. Because absolutely nobody, not even the biggest idiot in the world, was that suicidal. And if they were, well getting killed by a monster would be less painful.)

And then of course there were his trips under the sea – those happened at least once a week. As it turns out sea creatures have a lot of problems – and this is something that Malcolm, nor any of his other siblings as far as he could determine, didn’t know but then they wouldn’t have had a way of finding out. They had big problems, small problems, interesting ones, boring ones and incredibly hilarious ones. And Percy being Percy – and this was the one thing Malcolm had never been surprised about when he heard the stories because he was Percy – would always help. Those underwater trips could last any amount of time from 20 minutes to hours, so, in all honesty, Percy not being there that morning wasn’t entirely surprising. In fact, in some ways, Malcolm would classify it as a normal part of their camp life. He’d show up later, he always did after all, with stories of his adventures under the sea. (Annabeth once told him that her favorite story, and the funniest one – and Malcolm can attest to that since he actually went out of his way to hear it – was the one where Percy and Tyson spend four hours of their lives helping a tiny, incredibly sarcastic baby shark find its parents.)

Not even Annabeth thought there was anything odd about Percy not being there that morning.

Annoying, more than definitely and something they would talk about later.

But it wasn’t odd.

Like everyone else she’s assumed that he had just gone or a walk that had somehow ended in some kind of adventure.

(When he gets back, she thought, I’ll let him know that this is unacceptable. At the very least he should leave a note.)

But it's okay, it’s normal.

She’ll laugh at his stories when he comes back – because there is always some story.

Except he doesn’t.

But then his sword fighting class comes around and he isn’t there. And that is weird, more than weird in fact, because Percy wouldn’t be late for that and if he were going to be he’d let them know.

Malcolm is the one who organizes the first search party. ‘He’s probably just gotten into a fight and gotten a little hurt,’ he assures Annabeth. ‘He probably can’t move or something and he simply doesn’t have any drachmas to contact us. He’s just waiting for us, wherever he is. Or maybe he’s in the ocean, healing, and tomorrow he’ll show up. It will be alright.’ What he doesn’t say, what nobody says, what nobody wants to contemplate, is that there might be another reason for Percy not contacting them. He might be dead. He might have finally found that monster that was faster than him. And Malcolm knows Annabeth has already considered the possibility, she’s his sister after all, but she probably doesn’t really want to think about it. But then nobody does. (He thinks it would be incredibly unfair that Percy would die all alone, while his friends didn’t even miss him. It seems unfair that he would just die after having won the war.)

But as long as they don’t say it out loud it won’t be truth. (Like that makes sense.)

They searched for hours, in the strangest places, but Percy Jackson, their friend, their leader, was just nowhere.

It was almost like the earth had just swallowed him.

Still, Annabeth tells herself later as the night falls, surely everything will be alright. He’s just in the ocean and he hasn’t woken up yet. Tomorrow he’ll come running and he’d hug her and he’d tell her how sorry he is and everything would be alright.

It’s nothing.

 

II.

Years ago, when Grover first met Percy, he never actually thought they’d stay best friends.

Definitely not for as long as they have.

Not because Percy wasn’t a good friend – he is the best friend one could have – but because Grover was convinced that he wasn’t a good enough friend to Percy. It’s strange thinking about this now, after all that has happened, but it was the way he felt back then when he first brought Percy here. Percy had been so strong, so brave and he was just the satyr that couldn’t even manage to protect the people he was supposed to. (And really, no matter how many times Percy and Thalia and even Annabeth tell him it’s alright he’ll never forgive himself for the total disasters that were their arrivals at camp.) The truth was he’d assumed – even though he never said it – that once Percy made it to camp and was surrounded by other half bloods he’d forget about him. (Now, so many years later, he knows what he did not know then. That Percy, though he made other friends, never considered not hanging out with him.)  
And now, now on a just a random day, he’s just gone.

It’s almost like his best friend has just ceased to exist, for no apparent reason.

Somehow, deep down – though he’d never acknowledge it – Grover had always known it would end this way. This was, after all, how the life of most half-bloods went. Despite that, after all this time, he’d somehow managed to convince himself that it wouldn’t happen or that when Percy died – if he is dead – somehow would at least be with him. That, he supposes, was just stupid.

That afternoon he roamed through the forest, trying to find his best friend and desperately trying to use their empathy link. A part of him was kind of hoping that Percy would just jump from behind a tree yelling ‘Gotcha!’ Annabeth would kill him and Grover might join her but at least he would be alright. But all he could hear were the voices of campers and dryads as they searched all around him. And though the silence does not necessarily mean that Percy isn’t here – he could be unconscious after all – Grover is sure that Percy isn’t here. (And that’s terrifying because if he isn’t here, then where the hell is he? And why can’t he find him using their empathy link?)

That night, as the camp slept – or tried to at least – he lay outside staring at the huntress and trying to make the now apparently useless empathy link work.

But there was just nothing.

He can’t even tell if his friend is alive or dead.

Months ago, back when the war was still going on, Percy had told him that while he’d been sleeping in Central Park Percy had not been able to find him either. He’d never figured out why, but he’d assumed, at the time that it had something to do with him being magically put to sleep. (Maybe, just maybe, that’s what happened to Percy.) It was terrifying because it seemed like Percy didn’t exist at all. He wasn’t dead – of this he is mostly sure – because he would know that. (At least he thinks he would.)

By the time Juniper finds him the sun is already coming up.

He thinks that she’s here to get him to sleep, but she doesn’t say anything, just sits beside him and waits. (For what he is not sure.)

That night, Grover does not cry.

He cries later, much later, when he can’t quite convince himself it will all be alright.

But that’s later.

This is now. When everything is still possible and fixable.

And his best friend is just around the corner.

 

III.  
Chiron is the one who tells her he’s missing.

It’s logical really; he is the leader of the camp after all. Considering the life of half-bloods and their lifespan, it can’t be the first time he’s had to tell a mortal parent their child was never coming home. (Or maybe it was if her son’s stories about how some parents treated their children were true.) Perhaps that was why he was so calm when he told her, but then by the time they told her Percy had been missing for a while so he might have already gotten used to the idea – if such a thing was possible of course. And the truth was that ever since Percy had started going to camp – and even before that – Sally had always known this would happen at some point. That someday Chiron would stop by to tell her that her only son was never coming home. It wasn’t the first time Percy had gone missing – he’d gone on quests or he’d disappeared for days or weeks at the time but this time it was all different. Because unlike every other time Chiron came to tell her.

He came in the morning, too early to be the bearer of good news.

He was worried and sad and at the same time completely calm and she’d known, even before he said a word, that her whole world was about to shatter.

But he isn’t dead, at least there is that. He isn’t dead.

Just missing.

Which, considering the past few years, wouldn’t worry her except of course that Chiron is in her living room. That nobody – not his friends, not even Annabeth which is truly worrying – knew where he’d gone off too. And yet, despite that, her first reaction is relief. Because when she’d first seen him she’d assumed he’d come to tell her that her son was dead. But he isn’t, just missing, and though that’s terrible, it’s still a relief. He’ll show up in a few weeks, she tells herself, sorry about what happened. He’d hug her and smile and she’d be unable to stay angry at him because she loves him so damn much. She would be completely convinced about that, except Chiron is sitting in her living room and he’s worried even though he’s trying to hide it.

She doesn’t ask what he thinks has happened to Percy.

She doesn’t want to know.

(Not until she has no other options.)

Chiron stays with her for the rest of the day, even though he has nothing to say.

He leaves at night telling her everything will be alright and he’ll visit soon.

He doesn’t.

(He calls, constantly, but he never comes by again and she knows this is because he has nothing to tell her. Still part of her wishes, he would come by anyway.)

Annabeth comes by constantly, trying to figure everything out, and Grover comes by once or twice. Annabeth makes dozens of promises, swearing she’ll find Percy. She doesn’t really doubt that, at least she wouldn’t if the younger girl hadn’t looked so lost and scared. Sally can’t quite bring herself to have Annabeth face the truth, she herself hasn’t accepted yet – though she’s been thinking about it more and more. That no matter how hard she tries, she might never find him.

They cry and talk and hang onto each other and try to keep their heads above water.

It doesn’t actually work.

But then nobody is calm in those weeks.

Not even the ocean.

The seas are in turmoil, she sees that every time she goes to the beach. (In a rather desperate attempt to see if Percy would just show up there. Stupid, she knows.) So she knows that Poseidon is just as worried as she is and probably just as in the dark – perhaps not as in the dark as she is, he is a god after all. Still, he doesn’t show up, doesn’t come by, and doesn’t send her any message to tell her that something has happened. She expected, hoped, that he would do at least that, but he never does.

She hates him for that, hates him for not being man enough to at least tell her.

But Percy is alive, she knows that.

Because if he were Poseidon would come and tell her, it would only be fair. (It might be stupid but she believes it completely.)

But the months pass by and she still hears nothing from or about her son.

Perhaps the truth is that Poseidon is simply a coward.

(That might be something that deep down she had already known.)

 

IV.

Truthfully Paul never thought he’d actually have children.

He didn’t hate children or anything – if he did, he never would have considered becoming a teacher, that would just be stupid – but he didn’t think he’d make a good father either. If it happened, it would be something he would be happy with – at least he assumed that – but it wasn’t something he was necessarily searching for. And he certainly never imagined that the day would come, he would suddenly have a teenage stepson. A teenager, it should be noted, that got into so much trouble, and such strange trouble, that at first Paul was completely convinced that all stories were exaggerated. (How was he supposed to know that the truth was much stranger than those stories?) This wasn’t how he thought his life would turn out but it did and he wouldn’t want it any other way.

His life is perfect, despite all the strangeness.

And then Chiron – and he still can’t quite believe that man is actually a centaur – comes to tell them that Percy is missing and just like that the world falls apart.

Somehow he’d been convinced that now that that war was finally over everything would be alright. (Which, considering all he’d learned in such a short time was probably exceptionally stupid.) He’d believed that the worst was behind them and that now they could finally build a great life.

And he thought, strangely enough, that the worst feeling he could ever have was standing next to Sally underneath Olympus and not knowing whether Percy was alive. He’ll never forget that feeling of helplessness, pain and he never wanted to experience anything that bad again.

But here they were again.

Unlike the last time it didn’t end because Percy didn’t come back. Days turned into weeks and then into months and everything stayed the same.

The worst part was that Sally was hurting, drowning in her pain and there was absolutely nothing he could do for her. He couldn’t go look for Percy, though he would really like to. Because their world, and his by extension, was far too dangerous and even if he had known where to begin searching, which he didn’t, if his own fellow half-bloods themselves couldn’t find him how was he supposed to?

The only thing he could do was sit beside Sally and pray that everything would be alright.

(Percy’s father was a god after all, surely praying would help him?)

V.

The day before it happened was just another normal, random day.

Nothing noteworthy happened on that day, nothing that generations of half-bloods after them would keep talking about. In fact Annabeth is convinced that if Percy hadn’t disappeared the next day she probably wouldn’t remember anything about that day. She’d assume she knew what happened – it was their first day at camp in the winter after all – but only because she was so used to the way life was at camp. There was no indication at all that anything would happen at all – perhaps the fact that it was such a normal day should have been an indication but it wasn’t. After all, they weren’t going on a quest and the war was over and they all seriously thought they were safe. As it turns out they were stupid and blind and completely naïve. They’d thought, stupidly enough, that bad things would only happen in the summer when they went on quests or in the outside world. But not at camp, not now that the war was over, and definitely not in the winter. (Nico would remind them, if they said this out loud, how wrong they are. After all Bianca died in the winter not the summer, in the snow, not the sun.)

Perhaps the complete normality of the day should have tipped them off.

But it didn’t.

On the second day after he’d disappeared – when they’d run out of logical and illogical places to look – they’d tried to remember the details of that random day. Thinking that perhaps something had happened, something that would explain everything that had happened, and they’d simply missed it. Perhaps there was some clue that would help them find Percy – perhaps something he said or did, perhaps something anyone else said, anything. But no matter how hard they tried nothing stood out at all. (The only thing that stood out somewhat was the fact that Will Solace had finally managed to get Percy to hit the target with his arrow. Which was a freaking miracle, but it didn’t explain what happened. And he only managed it once.)

It was just an ordinary day.

Completely uneventful.

Then the day was over and he was just gone.

Now normal is something of the past.

The day before Connor and Travis played a ridiculously complicated prank on the Aphrodite cabin. At the time it had been hilarious, but in all honesty Annabeth can’t quite remember anymore why.

(Percy won a sword fight from Clarisse, but she got her revenge when they had a wrestling match later.)

What Annabeth remembers best is sitting around the campfire, in Percy’s arms, singing songs and watching as the campfire rose higher and higher. They’d just been so happy. All the bad things that had happened, all the pain they had been through, seemed to have finally disappeared and now they could finally begin a new life. She’d felt at home. (The Stoll brothers stole wallets and Annabeth found her own the next day, but they never found Percy’s even though Connor swore he’d taken it and put it in the bag.)

For a moment, just a moment, they lived in an (almost) perfect world.

And then they blinked and the moment was just gone.

She can still hear him, mostly at night, singing and laughing and just being happy.

He’d kissed her in front of her cabin and as he’d walked away, he’d said: ‘See you tomorrow, wise girl.’ He’d been so sure that tomorrow would come; he’d never considered it wouldn’t be there, Annabeth remembers that quite clearly. But then she’d been sure too.

She wishes she could go back and freeze that moment and simply never have tomorrow come.

But one can never go back and tomorrow will always come.

And for some reason, this time, it just didn’t bring Percy with it.

 

VI.

The moment of, it’s completely silent.

It is the middle of the night and the stars are bright in the dark sky, not that anyone will see it. Everyone is asleep, well, everyone with the exception of the Stoll brothers who were planning some elaborate prank. Percy was dreaming of the sea, like so many times before. He’d been unaware of anything happening around him, unaware that he’s about to be taken from the place he calls home.

There’s a bright light, suddenly, and then he’s gone.

His bed has been slept in, his clothes are lying on the ground in disarray and his Christmas presents – the few he’d already gotten because he’d had some great idea of what to buy and he was afraid he would forget otherwise – are lying wrapped up, in the back of his closet.

But he, himself, is gone.

At first glance it seems as if he’s just stepped out for a moment, like any second he’s just going to walk back through the door.

But he won’t.

The moment just after it happens, it’s still silent and the world still seems the same.

The world however has changed completely and yet nobody knows.

At least not until the next day.

 

VII.

She’s exhausted.

So tired and lost and scared and angry as well and so many other things that Annabeth doesn’t really have time to analyze. (Nor does she really want to, it might be better not to know.) She’s angry at Percy, for daring to leave her, of not stopping whatever had happened to him – even though she’ll readily admit that there was probably no way for him to stop what happened to him. She’s angry at whichever of the gods, it is that targeted Percy this time – if it was one of the gods. (She kind of hopes it is because at least they won’t kill the hero that just saved them, right?) Angry at the world for going on happily as her world falls apart, angry for allowing something else to happen to them, again. (They’ve saved the world, they’ve saved the gods, and didn’t that at least earn them a few months of respite?) Above all she’s terrified, trying to figure out what happened to him. Because, oh gods, what if he’s actually dead this time?

And she’s tired, so tired of all that has happened to them, tired because the world won’t just leave them in peace.

She can’t sleep because every time she closes her eyes, she dreams of the horrors that might be happening to him. And she doesn’t know if they’re just nightmares or actual demigod dreams.

Sometimes she dreams he’s lost in the darkness, going left then right, seemingly unable to find any way out of it. If Daedalus hadn’t died, she would have believed he was down in the labyrinth, but the labyrinth isn’t there anymore. (And, yes, she’s looked.) He’s always screaming her name, at times accompanied by others. (Tyson and Grover and his father and once he even scream for Clarisse – that must mean that if her dreams are more than simple nightmares brought on by her overactive imagination, Percy is really completely desperate.) He tries desperately to find a way but there seems to be no way out of the vast darkness he is trapped in. He seems so lost and afraid, more afraid than she’s ever seen him before. At first, when the nightmares first arrived, she’d wake up screaming his name, a fact that only made Malcolm worry about her more – if such a thing was at all possible. Sometimes she wakes bathing in sweat, searching for the light herself, convinced that she too is trapped in that same vast darkness.

The worst part is she can’t figure out whether it’s real or not.

She hopes it isn’t, she hopes Percy isn’t lost in the dark somewhere. But there’s a part of her – a part she doesn’t really want to acknowledge – that wishes that the dream are true. Because if the dreams are true than at least she knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Percy is alive.

Now, so many weeks later, Malcolm no longer hears her scream.

Because she no longer sleeps in her cabin.

(She told him, though that the dreams have faded, that they’ve gone and have been replaced by something else. He didn’t really believe her, but at least he pretended he did.)

The truth is she didn’t exactly mean to move into Percy’s cabin and in reality she supposes she hasn’t – her stuff, after all is still in her own cabin. But most nights, when she’s just too tired to go anywhere else and she wants to be surrounded by Percy and feel close to him, she stays in his cabin and sleeps in his bed. (Her siblings know, she’s sure of this – they are Athena’s children after all – but nobody speaks of it, so they pretend it isn’t happening.) She lies underneath his covers, imaging that being among Percy’s stuff means that she’s closer to him. And she wonders, at times, if Silena ever did this. If after Beckendorf died, she’d snuck into his cabin and sleep in his bed, trying to recapture all that she has lost. She tries not to think about her, but once she does she can’t stop. She’s afraid that if she thinks about it too much she’ll turn out just like her, she’ll turn into the girl with the dead boyfriend. (She’s not sure if that’s better or worse than the girl with the missing boyfriend. Might it be better, she sometimes wonders, to know he is dead? Because then at least she knows.)

When she can’t sleep – which happens quite a lot as she’s desperate not to dream – she cleans his cabin, folds his clothes and makes up his bed. So that he’ll know when he comes back that somebody was waiting for him. (Not that he wouldn’t already know that.)

She finds her Christmas present in the back of his closet.

She doesn’t open it.

(When the time comes, when she finds him, they’ll open their gifts together, no matter when that is.)

At night, when there’s no light and there’s no hiding from her dreams anymore, when it seems like life itself is suffocating her, she tries, desperately, to think of other things. She thinks of campfires and dancing and laughter, of quests and games and happy memories from so long ago that seem to belong to other people. It’s never enough.

Sometimes she wonders what Poseidon thinks about her staying in his cabin.

(Maybe the Gods don’t really care who sleeps where. Maybe that’s just something they themselves made up.)

On her best nights, which are far and few in-between, she dreams of the last time she saw him. So happy, so filled with life, promising he’d see her tomorrow. In her dream he always walks away, smiling, and disappears into the darkness.

She wakes before he comes back.

VIII.

The last time Clarissa saw Percy he won their sword fight.

And, more importantly, he was being insufferable.

(She might have told him to go off and disappear. She didn’t exactly mean for him to do that.)

At the time it didn’t really matter. She told herself at the time that someday she would win from him. That day would more than definitely come, no matter how much time it took. Of course, to accomplish that, he must first be found. And in all honesty that doesn’t seem like it will happen anytime soon.

She’s actually worried about him.

She’ll never say that out loud.

(And if anyone even thinks she’s worried about Jackson they should more than definitely keep their mouths shut.)

Because the truth is they are friends – even if she can’t quite explain how in Hades that happened. If she thinks about it, not that she spends much time doing that, she thinks it started when they were searching for the Golden Fleece. (Or, at the very least, that’s when they started to trust each other.) But in the end she’s not sure if there’s a specific moment in time when they became friends, it just sort of happened. Let the others believe what they want, let the others think she isn’t worried. At least that might make them feel better; the knowledge that there is someone level headed enough to be able to figure out a plan.

In all honesty, she thought he would be found quickly.

She thought his disappearance wouldn’t last longer than a day.

He might be dead – in fact, if she’s completely truthful, she truly did believe that. Because if he were alive, he would have found a way to contact at least Annabeth by now. She knows that would have been better, even if the whole camp would have felt lost, because then, at least, they’d know. Better to know the truth immediately, better to accept it, than to spend months trying to find someone that cannot be found. She doesn’t say this either – even though she’s sure everyone else has thought it, at least once – because she knows that Percy being dead would be bad. (And so unfair considering they had just survived a war, couldn’t they at least give them a year?) And mostly because Annabeth might kill her if she says it out loud and well Clarisse is not stupid enough to make Annabeth angry, especially not in the state she’s in. She can understand her, though, the memory of Chris, completely insane, is still too hard to think about even though he is by her side.

She’s worried about the little punk.

She also misses him.

That might be the strangest emotion, the one thing she has trouble wrapping her head around.

But no matter how hard she tries there is nothing she can do.

Nothing but wait that is.

Wait and hope.

 

IX.

For some incredibly bizarre reason during Percy’s first summer at camp Mr. D. and Chiron organized a scavenger hunt. One that would not take them through the woods like would be expected, but through New York City.

This, of course, happened after they came back from their quest.

(And, in all honesty, for all they knew they’d gone on scavenger hunts during their quest. But considering how everyone else – especially the Ares cabin – reacted to the idea Annabeth is quite convinced that they didn’t.)

It also happened in the time Luke was still with them.

To this day – not that they spend much time thinking about it, at least she doesn’t think they do – nobody has actually figured out why they were doing a scavenger hunt of all things. Not when there were so many other games they could be playing, games that actually helped in their training. As far as anyone could remember it was not something that had been done before – in all the years she lived at camp it hadn’t even been a possibility. At least not as far as Annabeth knew. In retrospect, it was the dumbest idea anyone ever had, but then it seemed that way at the time as well. Especially when one considered the fact that it included all the half-bloods leaving the safety of camp and going to New York City and attract dozens of monsters.

Yet, when it was first announced it did sort of seem like fun, like it could be interesting.  
(At least that’s what the Athena and Hermes cabins thought. Annabeth has always thought it might be better not to contemplate why the Hermes cabin thought this was a good idea.)  
It might have been interesting for everyone if the obstacles actually made sense or included monsters.

But they didn’t.

All Chiron did was split them in groups of two and sent them off on a tour of New York City, where they tried to solve a list of riddles. No monsters, no fighting, no learning of skills that could be used later. (Though, admittedly, everyone would attract at least one monster in the outside world, especially when so many were together.) Annabeth and her siblings simply think that, for some reason they’ll probably never figure out, Chiron and Mr. D. just needed them to be gone from camp for a few hours. And they simply couldn’t be bothered to come up with a better way to accomplish this.

She and Percy teamed up.

(Naturally and yet not because in the before – before the quest – she always teamed up with Luke.)

Luke had teamed up with Chris Rodriguez.

(Annabeth had actually forgotten that. She thinks that might have been the moment Luke convinced his brother – though he did not know the other boy was his brother – to join him. She tries not think about that.)

In all honesty, it had been fun, even if she still hasn’t figured out if she learned something useful – as in something that would help her survive. She had been the one who deciphered the clues, but Percy had lived in Manhattan his whole life, he was brilliant at finding even the most random places she never would have thought of.

(Three hours in they got attacked by monsters. He was the son of Poseidon after all; he would attract millions of monsters.)

Thankfully Chiron had been smart enough not to include a trip to Olympus in the game. She’s not sure if Percy would have survived that.

They’d won, though Chris and Luke had been a close second, and, truthfully, Annabeth can’t quite remember what they won.

They never had another scavenger hunt.

(Considering the fact that the Hermes cabin went on a stealing spree and half of them got arrested and had to be bailed out, that wasn’t exactly surprising.)

 

X.

Nobody told him his brother was missing until he’d already been gone for two days.

There probably was a reason for that.

It was probably because he cried so hard when Annabeth finally told him.

The worst part was that he’d been so happy on his way to camp. He’d been imagining all the fun he and Percy and Annabeth would have for two whole weeks.

Still, despite the fact that he was worried and he cried, he was sure that Percy was fine. Because he brave and strong and he always managed to survive everything. And yet, despite that, despite the fact that Annabeth knew this too, she was so worried about Percy that it actually scared Tyson. And she’d told him, no matter what he believed or thought that wasn’t good. (He knows that when something bad happens, they always hide it from him, so that he doesn’t have to suffer. When they do tell him it can’t be good.)

Still, he’s sure that his brother is alright.

They just don’t know where he is.

(And maybe the problem is that Percy himself doesn’t know where he is either. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t call them. Because he doesn’t know either.)

Annabeth asked him to look in places she could not and so he searched the ocean – even though he knew that Percy wasn’t there.

(He’d been right about that.)

His real search, alongside the big dog, he started at their old school. He’s not sure why he began there. He hadn’t liked the school itself – nobody, besides his brother, had been nice to him. But it was the place he met his brother and it was the place they spend most time together and they did have fun there. It was a connection to his brother, though, and that might have been why he chose this place.

(The school is empty, which is probably a good thing because he doesn’t want to run into anyone he once went to school with. They were not nice.)

“Come on girl, let’s find my brother!”

And so off they went and began their very long search.

He would find his brother.

His brother is fine.

Tyson is sure of this.


	2. Part 2

I. 

Christmas. A time of cheer, of happy moments spend alongside friends and family. 

A happy time. 

At least that’s what it should be. Annabeth had spent months imagining all the fun she and Percy would have once they were together. It would be their first Christmas together and she’d been looking forward to it so much. And then he’d gone and disappeared and what she imagined would be the happiest Christmas ever turned into the most horrible. 

Nobody at camp is really having a lot of fun at Christmas. 

Sally Jackson’s home is also silent that Christmas. 

Happiness that Christmas seemed almost unattainable. 

(What was perhaps most horrible of all what that Annabeth forgot about everything else, including Thalia’s birthday. Not that Thalia truly blamed her, but Annabeth promised herself that if they all made it to next year she would make it the best one Thalia’s ever had.)

She never thought Percy would stay lost this long. She really thought they’d find him in just a few days, a week at most, but here they were, at Christmas, and he was still gone. Sometimes, a lot more than she lets anyone know, she thinks it might have been better if he’d just died. She’d be broken, but she wouldn’t be lost. 

She bought him a stupid random little thing. 

It wasn’t something she thought he wanted or really needed. It was really just a stupid little thing. She only bought to have something, so that she could tell herself that everything was still alright. She bought it because if she didn’t it would be like acknowledging that he wouldn’t come back and she wouldn’t (couldn’t) do that. 

Because he is coming back. 

He has to. 

Christmas at camp is supposed to be the best time on earth. She knows that. She remembers that. In all honesty, she has no idea why they spend their time celebrating it, it doesn’t, after all, have anything to do with the Greek Gods. But it’s fun and it’s a happy time. They’d have snowball fights – not to future generations always make sure you’re on the Hermes team – and a special dinner and they’d all exchange gifts. There were stupid games and pranks and even sillier songs around the campfire. 

It would have been great to celebrate it with Percy – since it would be his first Christmas at camp. 

But he’s gone and nothing matters anymore. 

They sat around the campfire and sang, like all other nights, but the flames barely managed to warm the first row. It was just as bad as it had been that night after Beckendorf died and that definitely wasn’t a good memory. Percy would have expected her to go and visit Sally and, in all honesty, it was something Annabeth would have expected of herself. But she couldn’t do it, couldn’t make the short trip to Sally’s, at least not on Christmas. Instead, she sat on his bed in his cabin and prayed to whichever god would listen to just bring him back.

She never opened the gift she found in his closet. She just couldn’t.

She had this terrible feeling that if she did open it, he would never come back. 

She’d wait until he came back and they’d open their gifts together. 

And next year they would spend Christmas together, even if she had to bribe all the gods to accomplish it. 

 

II. 

Annabeth calls her late at night, at a time when most normal peoples are already asleep. 

(But then Annabeth is a demigod and she is the oracle of Delphi, they’re not exactly normal.)

She sounds incredibly worried and even scared when she asks (almost begs) if she’s seen Percy. And really, that fact scares her more than the phone call itself or even the fact that Percy has mysteriously gone missing. Because Annabeth is the girl that flew a Pegasus straight towards a crashing helicopter, jumped on, landed it and just walked away as if it was nothing. So for Annabeth to be so worried and scared it must mean that something bad has happened. (And oh gods, why do these things keep happening to her friends?) Hearing her friend talk like that makes her want to lie to her and tell her that yes, Percy is here with her. (But that would just be cruel.)

Still, despite the fact that she sounds so worried Rachel still can’t quite believe something really bad has happened. He’s a demigod, a powerful one, who’s survived a war, how bad could it possibly be? Besides, she’s the oracle of Delphi, surely she would have already dreamed about it, even if it’s in a roundabout way. She’s had some very strange and confusing dreams – and she was going to talk to Annabeth about that – but it wasn’t anything dangerous and it definitely had nothing to do with Percy. So, again, how much trouble could he possibly have gotten himself in?

But time passes, minutes turn into hours, and the phone never rings again. 

(I’ll be there as soon as I can, in a few days, call me if something happens in the meantime, she told Annabeth. And since she doesn’t call Rachel is going to assume nothing happened. Neither good, which is not so good, nor bad, which is a little better.)

She doesn’t cry. 

She’s too busy. 

She just lies on her bed, her eyes closed, trying to get the oracle to tell her anything. But the oracle only sends prophecies and dreams when it wants to, and it’s never at a time when she actually needs it. (Though even if she were to say a prophecy right now, how is she supposed to remember it? What does happen if no-one is around to hear the prophecies? Or does the oracle only speak through her when someone is actually around to hear it? Someday she’s really going to have to get answers to all these questions.) She even begs Apollo – though she doesn’t know he actually listens to her or would listen to her if he hears her call even though she is his oracle. But Apollo either doesn’t hear her or he doesn’t have any of the answers either. 

Really, she thinks, what is the point in being the oracle of Delphi if it’s not going to help you when you need it most? 

She waits on her bed and in her car and in the airport but no answer comes. 

(And it probably never will.)

It’s not until she’s on the plane itself that she finally dreams of Percy but the dream makes no sense. She dreams of Percy running and darkness surrounding him and other people that she can’t see speaking in what she thinks is Latin. 

It makes no sense. 

(But then none of her dreams have ever made sense.)

And a voice, in the back of her head, suddenly tells her as she arrives at camp, that she should go to Hera’s cabin. The answer to everything is there, or at least it has something to do with Hera. (Which isn’t a good thing, she’s heard Annabeth talking about her and the other girl really doesn’t like her.) But when she arrives, there’s nothing, no message from the oracle, no answers to her questions, nothing. Until Annabeth and the new girl arrive and suddenly Hera is speaking through her. But it still doesn’t tell her what happened to her friend.

Later, when Jason and his friends have gone on their quest, she holds Annabeth as she cries.

She never tells anyone that happened. 

She never mentions it again. 

She herself doesn’t cry until she’s alone. (Because, oh, gods, what if something actually happened to him? That wouldn’t be good!)

She knows that if she wanted to she could cry with Annabeth, but Annabeth needs her to be strong. 

Strong and tell her everything is alright – because she’s the oracle and it sounds more credible coming from her. Even though she herself doesn’t actually have any answers. That night, and every night after that, she dreams of Percy, running in the darkness. Figures and houses and voices flash by so fast that she can never distinguish anything enough to be able to tell where he is, or even if he’s alright. 

She never tells Annabeth. 

There’s nothing to tell after all. 

 

III. 

The moment off, it’s silent. 

The stars are bright in the sky and everyone is lost in their dreams. Everyone, that is, except for the Stoll brothers who were working on their next brilliant prank. Their plan was to prank the Athena cabin, which isn’t that easy, not that any of that still mattered later. Though it was one of the best plans they ever had and someday they are going to pull that prank. (Once Percy is back, they decide, and he can laugh with them.) They’d been sneaking through the camp, so silently that they wouldn’t be discovered by the harpies. It might not be the best idea they had but they needed to sneak around when nobody could see them so that they could figure out the details of their plan. (Connor wants it noted that the harpies don’t actually eat you when they find you outside – not that anyone else knows this. What they do is drop you in Mr. D’s room at six in the morning, which, as he has discovered, is much more painful than being eaten alive.)

The moment off, they were walking past Percy’s cabin. 

(Not that they actually knew this, but they were in the neighborhood when he disappeared. They know that.)

They’d just figured out the best way to put their plan into action. 

They never even realized something happened. 

Travis thinks he might never forgive himself for that, nor will Connor for that matter.   
They were right there, just a few meters away, just outside his cabin, and they managed to miss the most important moment ever. All they had to do was turn their heads to the left a little at the right time, just look into his cabin – even if they didn’t really have a reason. That’s all. They might have been able to see who took him. Or at least they would have known that something had happened and they would have been able to sound the alarm immediately. It might have meant that they could have found their friend almost immediately. 

But in the end it didn’t. 

They just walked past their cabin, making plans for the most hilarious prank ever, as their friend – one of their best friends – was being kidnapped just a few feet away. 

Some friends they are.

 

IV. 

The clock will strike twelve and a new year will start. 

It’s really almost like a new world will start. 

And it will happen without Percy there. 

(It hurt because Annabeth had kind of convinced herself they would find Percy before the New Year began.)

Annabeth sits alone in Percy’s cabin when the clock strikes twelve.

(She might have broken something in anger and frustration.)

It’s a New Year. It’s a New World. 

A world without a Titan war hanging over them, a world without Luke and Silena and so many of their friends it hurts to think about. And, for now at least, a world without Percy.

“Happy New year, Seaweed brain,” she whispers into the night “Wherever you are.”

 

V. 

Almost all heroes will die young. 

(Those that don’t are so far and few in-between that they’re not worth mentioning.)

Chiron learned this lesson centuries ago. It is how it has always been and, no matter how much he might wish things could be different, it is how it always will be. Knowing that you would think – really you would – that by now he would have gotten used to it. That it would no longer hurt him so much when the heroes he inevitably got close to die before their time. That he would have learned by now that there is simply no fighting it, that it is better us to accept that this is how it will always be. He should have learned by now not to get close to them, not to love them. So that in the end it would be easier to let them go when their end came. 

And their end always came far too soon. 

He’d known, from the moment he met him, that Percy would probably not grow old. Even without the prophecy hanging over his head it would have been that way.

(It’s the one constant in his very long life.)

In all honesty, he hadn’t even been sure if the young demigod would be able to survive his first quest. But he did. And then he went ahead and defied all expectations and survived all the quests that followed. Even the ones he wasn’t supposed to be on. (Note to self: have a conversation with Percy about his tendency to sneak off and get himself into terrible danger.) And then, after all that, Percy – his greatest hero – had done the impossible. He’d beaten the prophecy that Chiron had been sure would be his end. He’s survived the war and walked away without a scratch on him. 

And despite all that had happened, despite knowing better, he’d begun to hope. 

Hope that for once everything would be different. 

He should have known better. (He did know better.) Years of trying should have (had) shown him the truth. There was no changing the way it had always been. But he’d hoped that once he’d beaten the prophecy his young charge would be able to grow old and be happy. That Chiron would be there to see him die of old age. (It really was stupid and ridiculous, but he hadn’t been able to stop himself from thinking it.)

Hope is the last thing to disappear. 

It is the stupidest emotion in the universe. 

Because now Percy is missing and his camp was falling apart at the seams without him. And there’s nothing he could do to help anyone. If only Percy hadn’t been so loyal, so kind, if only he hadn’t been such a good leader. Then the others wouldn’t be so lost. 

If Percy had been a horrible person, it would be easier to lose him. 

But he isn’t. 

He is kind and loyal and the best leader the camp could have.

And losing him isn’t easy. 

It never will be. 

But at least, Chiron thinks, at least he isn’t dead. At least there is still some hope. (He supposes the truth is he’ll never stop doing that.)

 

VI. 

Annabeth waits almost a whole week before she tells him that Percy is missing. 

Not that Nico really blames her for that. 

Alright, so a part of him does blame her a bit because it makes him feel like he isn’t really important. And really he isn’t. But he understands why she didn’t tell him. She was asking him to check if Percy was dead after all and, in all honesty, if he were in her shoes he would have waited to ask too.

He didn’t even wait for her to finish talking before he stepped into the shadows. 

That’s what Annabeth wanted him to do. 

(At least he thinks it is.)

In retrospect, though it wasn’t exactly nice, he probably should have waited for her to finish talking at least. He’s pretty sure she understands, though. When this is all over – whenever that is and if that moment ever comes – he’ll apologize to her for that. 

(He doesn’t think she’s waiting for that though.)

A part of him is completely sure that he would know if Percy died. He would be able to feel that. Because he’s Percy. And if he hadn’t felt that than he knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Percy isn’t dead. (He can’t be.) Except he isn’t sure. No matter how much he tries to convince himself – and oh gods does he try – he isn’t sure and that’s terrifying. (Because, oh gods, what if he is actually dead?) 

The good thing about being a son of Hades is that he doesn’t have to wait for Charon to get him to the Underworld. 

(He’s got his own way in. He’s not sure whether this is actually a good thing, but right now it is definitely helpful.)

He doesn’t bother checking anywhere but Elysium. This is Percy, the one who saved Olympus just a few weeks ago, he won’t be anywhere else. No matter what his father actually thinks about him – and after all that has happened Nico has no idea what he actually thinks about Percy – he’ll never allow Percy to be sent anywhere but Elysium. That would probably start another war. (Poseidon would be furious and Nico is pretty sure that most of the other gods would be angry as well.) 

Besides, if anyone belongs in Elysium, its Percy. 

He isn’t there. 

(Not yet.)

Nico isn’t sure if he’s happy about that or not. 

Percy is still missing after all. 

(He’ll keep looking. Maybe he’ll show up in the Underworld or camp someday. He’s hoping for the latter.)

 

VII.

The most important thing Percy learned during his second summer was to never, ever promise the Stoll brothers that you would help them with a prank. 

Never. 

No matter what. 

You’d think, considering how much he went through, that it would be something else. Like never piss of a sorceress or try not to get into a fight with Luke when you’re not sure you’re going to win. Or a million other things he learned – or should have learned on his quest. But no, the most important thing he learned was that one really shouldn’t get involved in one of their pranks. (During his first summer he learned that one should never accept something they give to you unless you’re a hundred percent sure you know what it is they are offering you. And even then you should be extremely cautious.) He kind of realized this while he was saying ‘Yeah, sure, I’ll give you a hand’ but by then it was far too late. And it’s not that he doesn’t like pranks – he does – but they’re the Stoll brothers and working with them is always chaotic. 

It was hilarious. 

It was nerve-wrecking. 

It was fun. 

And – considering it was the Ares cabin they were pranking, which they didn’t tell him about until after by the way – it was absolutely terrifying. 

Not that Clarisse ever found out he helped, which was probably a good thing.

(Sometimes he wondered how they felt about the whole Luke betraying them thing. Luke was their brother after all. Percy never asked and they never told him and, in all honesty, he doesn’t think he really wants to know.)

He never helped them again. 

(Well, that’s a lie, he did help them, but he always made sure he could choose when to help them. And he always made sure he had a way out if it was necessary.)

The rest of the summer he spends with Annabeth and Thalia, trying to get her used to camp. He can’t even imagine what it would be like to wake up years later and find out that the whole world had moved on without you. Watching the other girl realize that the little girl she used to take care of had grown up into the girl Annabeth was today was bad enough. But watching her face fall when they told her about Luke – and she wouldn’t believe them at first, in truth Percy isn’t entirely sure if she ever fully believed them – was worse than anything else. 

He wished he could tell her that everything would be alright. 

But he wasn’t sure it would be. 

Instead, he spends his time with her and Annabeth, training and teaming up to play capture the flag against the others. 

(They once teamed up in the chariot races. It ended badly.)

 

VIII. 

Percy dreams of the sea. 

Of clear blue water filled with dozens of sea animals swimming all around him. All of them talking at the same time – and so fast – that Percy can’t make out what it is that they are saying to him. He’s not sure it matters. He’s happy. He’s calm. He can just swim, or float, because there is nothing to worry about. (Later, he wonders if this was Hera’s way of making sure he didn’t suffer too much. In all honesty, he would have preferred to actually be in the ocean. Or maybe it was just all a coincidence.) Sometimes Tyson is in his dream, always swimming beside him. He tries talking to him a couple of times, but either his brother can’t hear him or he doesn’t have a voice – which is a possibility he supposes. Sometimes, not often though, his father is there, just close enough that Percy can actually see him, but always too far out of reach.

(In the after he doesn’t really remember his dreams.)

At times he dreams of the others.

Of Clarisse and Chris – for some reason – and of the Stoll brothers and their pranks. Of Annabeth and happier times. Of Nico, always in the shadows, and Thalia, running through the woods somewhere. He dreams of his friends and family in happier times. Once – at least he thinks it was only once – he dreams of Luke. Not the Luke that tried to kill him and joined the Titans and not even the one who was the hero in the end. No, he dreams of the Luke of before, the one that was his friend. He dreams of his first week at camp, before he went on his quest, when Luke was teaching him things and they were actually friends. He’s not sure why he dreamed this, but then he’s not sure why he dreamed any of it. (Not that he remembers any of this in the after anyway.)

When he finally wakes all he remembers is that he dreamed of the ocean. 

And nothing else. 

He doesn’t remember why. 

 

IX. 

Percy was one of the first to trust him again. 

Chris is not sure why. 

He can understand Clarisse – somewhat at least. He’s not sure how she can trust him, let alone love him, but he can understand that somewhat. But he’s never understood why Percy trusted him so quickly – and he doesn’t think he ever will, unless he asks him. And even then he’s not entirely sure he’ll understand. Chris is pretty sure to understand you’d have to be Percy. A part of him thinks they shouldn’t trust him at least not that easily, not after all that has happened. (It’s the part that remembers why he joined Luke and the part that remembers helping him with plans against their old friends.) 

Everyone else at camp – even his own brothers and sisters from cabin 11 – had trouble trusting him. At least in the beginning. 

(He’s pretty sure some didn’t trust him until he fought with them at the battle of Olympus. And almost died. Several times.)

But Percy – and Clarisse, but that is different – trusted him completely. 

Even after he discovered there was a spy he never seemed to consider that might have been Chris. He would have. Had their situations been reversed, he would have at least considered the possibility that the guy who had been on Luke’s side might be the spy. But Percy didn’t. (This is another thing about him that Chris is pretty sure he’ll never actually understand.) Some of the other campers thought it was him – not that he blamed them for that – but since their leader didn’t, since their leader said nothing about it, nobody said anything about it. 

He and Percy are never going to be the best of friends. (They each had their own friends after all.) 

But he will always be grateful for the fact that Percy trusted him. 

Always. 

And because of that he will follow him in battles (well, when Clarisse is going as well.)  
He will trust him. No matter what. 

When Percy goes missing he knows two things, beyond a shadow of a doubt. (Not that he has ever said any of this out loud.)

The first is that whatever happened to Percy – and he knows something has happened to him – is completely beyond his control. Because if Percy had any control over what happened to him, he would be back already. Or he would at least have let them know he was alright. (Because that is just how Percy is.) 

(If Percy were to call for help he would be one of the first to go. And he knows Clarisse would go to. Because this is just weird. And he knows –even though they’ll never talk about it – that Clarisse is worried too.)

The second is that Percy is alive and alright. 

(And no, he has no idea how he knows that, but he does.)

There’s nothing he can do but wait. 

He never tells the others what he believes. Because he can’t explain it, he just knows. Maybe that’s why Percy never explained why he trusted him. Maybe he just knew.

It will all be alright. 

Somehow. 

 

X. 

Before the war their camp was always filled with laughter. 

Dozens of half-bloods ran around having fun. Playing games, training and just doing silly things. 

They were happy. 

They were a family. 

And then the Titans came and convinced some of their friends – and siblings – to cross over to the other side. 

During the war their camp was still filled with laughter. 

Not as much as before, because there weren’t that many half-bloods anymore. And you could sense things were different. Everyone was tense, more worried and just generally sadder. The closer they got to actually fight the worse it got. (In fact, in those last few weeks before the fight it was almost silent. The Stoll brothers still pulled some pranks, but as time went by they became less and less.)

And then the war was over. 

And they were alive. 

After the war, the laughter was back. It still wasn’t the same as it had been before – way too many of their friends had died for it to be the same after all and they still needed to get used to the amount of new campers there were. But it was close. 

The night before Percy disappeared, as they sat around the campfire and watched the flames go higher and higher, they thought they’d finally managed to recapture the way it was before. 

The laughter was back. 

The happiness was back. 

They would be fine. 

They would be great. 

And then they blinked and Percy was gone.


	3. Part 3

I.

And then, suddenly, Thanatos goes missing. 

(And, really, Nico begins to wonder if this is perhaps the year of the missing persons and Gods. Because seriously, what in the Hades is going on? Not that he’s going to try and figure it out. He’s got a feeling it will be better if he never finds out.)

That of course means that nobody is really keeping an eye on the death. 

As nobody is making sure they stay where they should. 

And that means – and he gets to this conclusion quickly, which should probably worry him more than it does – that he can bring Bianca back. 

He knows it’s wrong. If there is one thing he’s learned over the years is that the dead should stay where they are. Where they belong. (Unless they themselves decide to try for the Isles of the Blest, but that is different.) He learned this as he watched Daedalus die and didn’t do anything to get Bianca back. Because he’d learned that there were some things you simply could not change. No matter how much you might want to. But this – Thanatos being gone and not keeping an eye on things – is different. (At least that’s what he tells himself.) And he knows, really he does, that if Percy was here and he could actually hear what Nico is thinking he’d tell him exactly why he’s wrong. But he isn’t here –that’s part of the problem – and even if he was it’s not like Nico would tell him these kinds of things. Besides, it’s not like Percy would be interested in his problems. (Or, maybe, he would be. He is Percy after all.)

It’s a good thing, really, that Percy isn’t dead. 

Besides the obvious reasons of course. 

Well, at least he thinks –believes – Percy isn’t dead. He’s still not entirely sure whether or not he’d be able to tell if Percy died. He thinks he would because it’s Percy and he loves him (not that he’s ever thought about that. Ever.) The point is it’s a good thing that Percy isn’t death. Because no matter how much he loves him and wants him to live, no matter how much he knows that the camp (and Annabeth of course) needs him he’s not sure he would bring him back. At least not if it meant bringing him back instead of Bianca. The truth is that a part of him is almost convinced that Percy himself wouldn’t let him save himself instead of Bianca. Because that is just the way, Percy is built. (The truth is of course that if Percy knew about this he’d tell him not to do it at all.)

Naturally by the time he makes it to Elysium Bianca is gone. 

(He doesn’t think he can ever forgive her for that. Not for choosing rebirth, he could have dealt with that. But for doing it without telling him. For not saying goodbye.)

Percy isn’t there either – which, again, is a good thing. 

Instead, he finds Hazel, sitting in the fields of Asphodel and brings her back instead. 

For one second – just one – he wonders if he should wait. Wait and see if Percy died later, so that he could bring him back instead. 

But like before he can’t. 

Because Hazel is his sister. 

But mostly, mostly because he really, really just doesn’t want to be alone anymore. 

He doesn’t think Percy will mind.

It won’t matter anyway. 

Percy isn’t dead and he isn’t going to die either. 

(Maybe, if he tells himself that enough times it might become true.)

 

II. 

She’s the huntress in the sky, running through the stars forever. 

It was a gift from her beloved mistress. 

It’s an honor. 

(Zoë had always loved the stars, even when she was younger. She thinks that is why her Lady turned her into the stars. Not just because it was an honor and a gift but because she herself loved the stars so much. )

Everything is different from up here. 

And stranger. 

The strangest parts are the things Zoë sort of well feels (by lack of a better term.) There is Apollo’s bright light as the sun appears, there’s the love of her lady as she sometimes flies by, there’s the huntresses who love her and praise her – even though she’s not entirely sure she deserves all their praise. There are the whispers that carry up – filled with love and sadness – that make her feel happy. That makes her feel loved. 

She sees everything. 

She knows everything. 

(Even the things she wishes she didn’t know.)

She knows that Percy has gone missing – even before Thalia finds out and guides her fellow huntresses on their search. She knows how worried everyone else is. And she knows how worried her Lady is, even if she hasn’t seen or felt her in a very long time. 

She’s also worried. 

(Yes, it’s strange; she knows that, especially after the live she had. But Percy Jackson is the only boy (man) in this world that she will defend. The only one she will call a friend. And a brave one at that. A true hero.)

But she’s a part of the sky now, a part of forever, she can see everything. She sees him sleeping, alone and protected, far away. She watches as he wakes begins his new journey. 

She knows he is safe. 

She knows all is well. 

She knows that he’s on his way to be reunited with his friends and family. 

It will all be alright. 

But she’s just the stars now and nothing else, she no longer lives. And so, she can’t tell anyone, not even her mistress. 

Even if she could speak, those below could probably not hear her. 

All she can do is watch. 

 

III. 

Up on the hill, just a few feet from safety, at the depth of night, she stood tall and she fought. She stood tall and she died. 

She died a hero. 

Later, when the dust has finally settled and a tree stands where she stood before, that is all they keep saying. That she died a hero. Like that even matters. Like that fact will make anything better. They say it to Annabeth – to brave, little Annabeth, who screamed, and screamed all the way to safety. (Thalia heard her, but there was nothing she could do for her, nothing but die that is.) They say it to Luke – whose anger is always is boiling just underneath the surface. They say it like that makes the pain any better. (But it doesn’t, oh Gods, it doesn’t.) They say it to her too, after she wakes from her long slumber. “It’s okay,” they say “you died a hero. And you’re back with us now.” Like the fact that it all turned out alright in the end makes it any better. Like it makes the pain go away. 

But it doesn’t. 

Because it all still happened, no matter what they say. 

The fact she came back doesn’t change the fact that she did die on that night. It doesn’t change the fact that Annabeth cried at night for months on end. It doesn’t change that Luke allowed his anger to take control and went over to the dark side. 

That it all turned out alright in the end might have made it better, but it didn’t make it okay. 

But then nothing really would. 

She thought of them before she died and of all they could have been. She imagined the lives they could have had and the family they would have been – in this other world that no longer existed, in this other world that faded away just like she did. They are not the last thing she sees, they are the last thing she thinks of but they are not the last thing she sees. The last thing she sees is the sky, the dark sky filled with stars above her – the territory of her father. Somehow she thinks that should be somewhat comforting, but it really isn’t. 

The last face she sees is Luke’s. 

(The monster does not count.)

The last eyes, she looks into belong to the boy she loved – and will probably always love, even though she’ll never, ever speak of it again. Even though she’ll pretend that all of that is in the past where it belongs. 

And then, then there was only darkness. 

(And no, she has absolutely no memories of the time in-between. And if either of the Stoll brothers ever even thinks of asking her about that again, she might have to kill them.)

When she finally wakes nothing makes sense. 

The stars have faded away and the world is far too light – a second, just a second ago, the stars were there and the world was dark. She still feels like she’s in the middle of a battle, like any second a monster will come out and try to kill her, kill them. (In fact – though she’ll never, ever admit it – it takes almost a full minute before she’s entirely convinced that she’s safe, at least for now.) There’s a girl sitting beside her, a girl she’s never seen before and yet strangely knows. 

The first eyes she sees are Percy’s. 

There’s a strange symmetry about Luke being the last one she truly sees and Percy being the first. 

(They are both the heroes of the prophecy after all.)

She doesn’t believe Chiron when he first tells her how much time has passed. Who would believe, after all, that they were dead – a tree – for so long. She doesn’t want to believe that the grown girl sitting beside her is the same little girl she first met in that alley so long go. And yet she knows, even if she doesn’t want to, that all of this is truth. But what she definitely doesn’t believe – or doesn’t want to believe – is that Luke, her friend, her family, is working against Olympus.And she ignores,she forgets,how angry he was after seeing his father. She ignores what she knows in her heart to be the truth. She can’t accept it. She can’t face it.

(The truth won’t set you free. It will only burn you.)

Afterwards, when everyone else is going about their own business – and Annabeth has gone back to her own cabin even though Thalia can see in her eyes she really wants to stay with her. But Thalia isn’t ready to face her, isn’t ready to accept that this girl is the same little girl that screamed for her as Luke carried her away. She sits underneath her pine tree – it will always be her pine tree – and tries to ignore everything that has happened. (Even though the details are still fuzzy.)

Percy is the one who comes to find her. 

He doesn’t say anything when he sits beside her, just stayed with her. The son of Poseidon, she thinks, just as powerful as her. Like her he’s not supposed to exist. Two children of the big three that aren’t supposed to be here, sitting underneath a tree that twenty fours ago was her. (It’s strange and creepy and she decides then and there that it’s probably not something she really wants to think about.)

He’s just like her. 

For the first time she’s found someone that understands her completely. 

They’re the same. 

That is, probably, in all honesty, also the reason they fight so much.

(He’s the only one who doesn’t say that everything is alright.)

Later, as she kneels in front of Artemis’s throne, she knows that what she’s doing isn’t fair to Percy. She knows that by making this choice she is ruining his life, she is making the prophecy all about him. And she can’t wish that the prophecy won’t turn out to be about him because then he will be dead. (She doesn’t want him to be dead.) But she can’t do it, she knows that now, she’s neither strong nor brave enough to withstand the prophecy. She’s learned that on this quest. But Percy,Percy is. She’s sure of it. 

She hugs him where everyone can see. Because everyone should know how important he is,even if she is now huntress and he is a boy. 

Artemis never says anything about it.

Because she understands that apart from Annabeth and Luke – whom she’s never ever thinking about again – he’s the best friend she’s ever had. He’s her family. 

He’s the best man she knows. 

The only male she’ll concede to loving.

(Besides Jason, of course, but then Jason has been dead for years, so she doesn’t think he counts.)

And then he actually does it. He saves Olympus and even survives and for that moment, right thereafter, she truly believes he is completely invincible. He is of course – that whole Achilles curse thing. What he truly believed, though, at that moment, was not that he would never die, but that he would stay for a very long time to come. That he and Annabeth would grow old and they would still be friends when they grew up. (Even though she never would.)She doesn’t tell anyone – far too embarrassing – but she’s disappointed hen he says not to becoming a God. When he refuses immortality. Because for one moment, one shining moment, she actually believed she would have a friend with her forever. That someone in her life would still be there in a thousand years, long after all he others have gone away. She understands why he said no, of course she does, even if most gods don’t seem to have figured it out, but that doesn’t mean she wasn’t disappointed. 

She doesn’t tell him, though. There’s no need for him to know. 

But in the end she believed he would live. 

That now that the war was over, and the prophecy had been fulfilled, he would be fine, at least for a while. 

She believed, truly, that everything would be alright. 

And then one night Artemis tells her that Percy has gone missing. That he might be dead and his tale might be at an end, but hat truly nobody knows what happened. Go look for him, my huntress, and see if you can’t find him, she says. 

Thalia never considers not going. 

She ignores the possibility hat he might be dead. She ignores the fact that his survival so far was practically a miracle. 

He is alive. 

He has to be. 

He’s the hero of the tale after all. And when the story is over the hero always gets peace, if not a happy end. 

He’s the hero. And she is just the little girl who died on that hill. 

That is the full truth. 

 

IV. 

Percy had known she was alive. 

This was in the before, back when the war was only a distant possibility and Luke was still Luke. (Evil, yes, and on Kronos’s side, but he’d still been Luke.) She’d been lost, lost in the battle because she’d been stupid enough to jump in when she should have waited – yes, she’ll readily admit it. All she remembers is the feeling of falling, deeper and deeper, faster and faster until suddenly there was nothing. She’d thought, while she was falling, that if she had to fall anywhere the best place would be the ocean. Because there, surely, Percy would be able to save her. It is his territory after all. 

At the time she couldn’t figure out how she survived. 

But Percy had just known. 

Despite not having any actual proof of that fact. Despite having all those dreams that only told him the horrors she went through. He’d known. Even before the dreams told him he’d just been able to tell. When he told her, after they got back from the party at Olympus, it made her feel incredibly important. It made her feel loved.She didn’t tell him that at the time, she didn’t think it was important enough. In the end she didn’t tell him a lot of things she wishes she had told him. 

He hadn’t been able to explain to her how he knew though. 

He just did. 

But then they never really talked about that time. Percy preferred not to speak about that specific quest – he wasn’t the only one, Thalia too tended to talk around the subject. She knew why they didn’t want to talk about it, she knew what had happened – even though the details escaped her. They didn’t want to talk about it because nobody had been able to save Bianca. Because Zoë had died because she decided that stepping in to defend Percy was important. (There is so sort of irony in a huntress of Artemis dying to save a man. But then Percy is the kind of person hat could inspire that kind of friendship.) And they never spoke of holding up the sky, mostly because there are no words to describe what that felt like even to someone who had gone through it as well. 

That was years ago. 

And who would have ever thought that one day she would be wishing for those times. That one day she would be wishing that she was the one missing. Because at least then everyone would know what had happened. And they would know where to find her.

Now he’s the one who’s missing and she’s the one who’s alone. 

(She wonders if he felt this bad, this lost, back then. Another thing she never asked about.)

She doesn’t know if he’s alive. 

She can’t tell. 

He knew, somehow, that she was still alive, even before he had the dreams. She can’t figure out how – how was she supposed to? After all, he himself, didn’t know how he knew, so how could she? She wonders if not knowing makes her a horrible person? Does not being able to tell whether he’s alive mean that she doesn’t love him as much as he loves her? She tries to figure it out – oh, gods, does she try – but nothing ever comes. 

All she can do is wait.

And plan. 

She’s the daughter of Athena after all. She makes dozens of different plans in those months. Plans to find him, plans to save him, plans to make everything alright. None of them would ever work, she knows that – she knew that while she was making them, but she had to do something. She wasn’t the only one, Malcolm and several of her other siblings helped her make most of them up. But nothing would ever work because they didn’t have enough details to make a workable plan.

They still tried though. 

In his cabin, at night, when she couldn’t stop her brain by focusing on making plans, all she could think about was the oracle. (Not Rachel, the one that came before.) And the prophecy that led her into the labyrinth. And one sentence, in particular, keeps running through her mind. Even though she tries to forget, even though she tries to pretend she’s not thinking about it. (It doesn’t work.) Even though she knows the words mean nothing anymore cause the prophecy has already been fulfilled. It still feels like the oracle was referring right now. 

And lose a love to worse than dead. 

And this waiting, this hoping, this not knowing, is definitely worse than dead. 

 

V. 

They don’t really know each other. 

Despite having lived in the same camp for the last few summers Pollux can’t actually say he knows anything about Percy. Not really. He knows the general stuff – the things absolutely everyone else knows about him. But the details of his personal life escape him and, in all honesty, he has no real desire to know. They’re not friends after all. They’re friendly – but then Percy’s friendly with pretty much everyone, with the exception of Clarisse – but they’re not friends. There’s nothing wrong with that,not really, at least Pollux doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with that. They each have their own life after, their own friends. In all honesty, with the exceptions of the stuff everyone else at camp does, their lives never really touched. In fact Pollux is pretty sure that – ignoring the meetings of the camp counselors – if he were to really think about it, he could probably count the amount of conversations they’ve had on one hand. Actual conversations, they say hello every now and then, but actual conversations barely happened. 

In fact the most important of their conversations happened in the middle of the battle at Olympus.

And it didn’t last more than five minutes. 

(It seems like that should be important, but it really isn’t.)

In all honesty, he still hasn’t quite figured out what that was about. It seemed so strange – it’s still strange – that Percy would go out of his way to save his life. Pollux is pretty sure there is something he’s missing about that conversation but he’s never really tried to find out. (He doesn’t really think it’s important, not really.) He’d been grateful, confused, but grateful. 

Percy had saved his life. 

(That’s the truth.)

He’s never going to stop being grateful about that. He’s never going to forget that. Even if in the end he and Percy will never actually be friends. But then he’s okay with that, he really is. They’ll say hello at camp and talk occasionally and they’ll be friendly. This is the way it has been for years and it’s the way it’s going to stay. He kind of likes the fact that some things haven’t changed, despite the fact that their whole world seems to have shifted. 

And then he goes missing. 

And nothing is the same again. 

He thinks how terrible it would be if Percy died without him ever having been able to repay him for saving his life. (Not that Percy is waiting for that.) There’s nothing he can do, though, he doesn’t really know him and he has no idea where he would disappear off to. All he can do is wait until his friends have come up with a plan, have figured out what has happened and then he will help them find Percy. 

And somehow -he doesn’t know how and he doesn’t know if it will actually happen, but he’s hoping – everything will go back to the way it was before. 

Or at least as close as they can get. 

 

VI. 

Jason entered his cabin once.

It wasn’t really something he planned on doing. One night, after campfire, he’d just been walking to his own cabin and he’d stopped in front of Percy’s. It almost felt like the cabin was calling to him, like it was telling him to go inside because somehow that was important. He knows that’s not what happened – at least he’s pretty sure that’s not what happened. And he knows that the answers he seeks – about his past, about what is happening, about what is going to happen – won’t be found in there. Or at least he’s pretty sure. But still in that moment, standing before cabin three, going inside had been just as important as anything else he had ever done. 

And so, hesitantly, he’d opened the door and stepped inside.

For a moment he’d been worried, scared even, that Poseidon would kill him – or maim him at least – for stepping into a cabin that wasn’t his. Especially if all he heard bout the big three – at least the Greek version of them, though he’s pretty sure the Roman versions act the same – is true. And really he doesn’t think anyone wasted their time making up that stuff. (Alright the Stoll brothers or really anyone else from the Hermes cabin, might do that.) But nothing happened. Maybe he shouldn’t have been worried, after all he is not the first to step into this cabin. Even though she tries to hide to hide it everyone knows Annabeth practically lives there. But Annabeth is Percy’s girlfriend, Poseidon wouldn’t just kill her. (Jason is not so sure he’s safe.It doesn’t matter since nothing happens when he steps inside. 

Maybe he should have come here. 

That might have been better. 

But the thing is he’s heard a million stories about Percy Jackson. The guy is practically a legend around here,everyone has a story to tell about him. If even half of those stories are true, then the guy definitely deserves the respect he gets from everyone. He doesn’t think they’re making them up though, perhaps exaggerating a bit, but not making them up. It does make him wonder what kind of guy Percy Jackson really is. And why he’s here. If all those things that Percy did are true – the lightning bolt, the golden fleece, and all those other stories not to mention saving Olympus and fighting Kronos – then why is he the one who is here? What has he done that makes him so important that they have brought him here, to Percy’s home?

He’s not sure what he was expecting, or even if he was expecting anything at all but the cabin he steps into is completely normal. Ordinary even. In his own personal opinion – and he is never, ever saying this out loud, lest he be harmed by his father or something – he likes it better than his cabin. There are no creepy statues staring at you for one thing. And it looks more homely, lived in. Maybe that’s just because someone actually lives here, as opposed to his cabin that is almost always empty. (His sister Thalia they tell him almost never comes to camp. And when she does, and stays the night, she stays in Artemis’s cabin.) But mostly it just seems like the room of a regular guy, kind of like his. 

He’s not going to find any answers in here. 

And he’s definitely not going to go through the guys stuff. 

(He wonders if there’s anyone standing in his room, somewhere, trying to figure out where he went.)

Standing here -in this cabin the occupant of which has been missing for a while – just makes him feel lonely. Lost even. He doesn’t stay longer than a few minutes, there’s no point really, it’s not like he’s learning anything important. He never goes into or even near the cabin again. 

He thinks Annabeth might know he went inside anyway. 

If she does, she never says anything about it. 

 

VII. 

It’s almost as bad as when Beckendorf died. 

Jake will be the first to acknowledge that for others at camp – for Annabeth and Grover and his other friends – it’s just as bad as that moment. But Percy isn’t dead yet, at least he believes he isn’t, so it isn’t the same. Percy can still come back. (He doesn’t say that out loud, he’s not sure, after all, if he himself believes that.) Yet, thinking about it, at least with Beckendorf they knew what had happened. They had all known it was a possibility. They were in the middle of a war after all. But Percy should have been safe, they should all be safe. That’s why the camp exists after all, to provide a safe environment. But it hadn’t been safe, not that night. And all Jake can think about is that if Percy could just disappear like that, without a trace, then they all could. It meant that their safe haven wasn’t as safe as they believed it to be. And that knowledge well, quite honestly, it freaked him out. (He’s not sure if anyone else is thinking about this or if his brain is the only one who’s decided that detail is what he should focus on.) 

What happened was bad and terrifying. 

But still to him it wasn’t as bad as when Beckendorf died, close, yes, but not the same. 

Because Beckendorf was his brother. 

Because Beckendorf had always been there. 

He is worried about Percy, though, of course he is, Percy is his friend. He wishes, desperately, that he could do something, anything. Anything but lie in bed, unable to move, because he’d been stupid enough to go near the bronze dragon. He’s a child of Hephaestus, he should have known his idea would never work. But he’d gone and done it and now here he lies, waiting to recover and hoping that everything will turn out alright. (He can do nothing but hope, hope and wait.) It’s that stupid curse. And yes, he knows most people at camp – including Percy probably – think he’s nuts for believing in something like this. But there’s no denying that everyone in their cabin has had some serious bad luck since Beckendorf’s dead. So Jake’s pretty sure there’s something to it. 

It doesn’t matter. 

If he’d been smarter he wouldn’t be lying here while everyone else is looking for their friend.

But he hadn’t been and here he is. 

All he can do is lie here and wait. And pray – to whomever is listening and cares, considering Percy saved Olympus they all should care, but he’s pretty sure they don’t all care. (Again, it doesn’t matter.) He prays for his friends safe return.

He prays that the situation stays to almost being as bad as Beckendorf’s dead. 

 

VIII. 

Once, long ago in that summer after the battle of the labyrinth, Percy had helped him with a special surprise he’d planned for Silena. 

It wasn’t that special, his surprise that is, just a simple picnic on the beach. But Silena loved dolphins – he guesses that in reality she still loves them, but considering they’re dead, he’s not sure it matters - and so he’d convinced Percy to make sure there were dolphins near where they were sitting. Not that he needed to do a lot of convincing.

Beckendorf has got dozens of memories that include Percy in some form. Yet, for some reason, when he finds out that Percy has gone missing – and he only finds out because Nico shows up one day all worried, but then, he supposes, that since he is in Elysium there really would be no other way to find out – all he can really think about is that picnic. There wasn’t really a reason for him to think of that moment, it just randomly popped into his head during his talk with Nico and afterwards it seemed impossible to forget. He’s not sure why, but then he’s not sure about a lot of things. (If he once thought that when he died, he would know all the answers he was more than certainly wrong.)

He desperately wishes he could go back. 

Back to those perfect moments with Silena, back when they were so deliriously happy and in love and their entire future still stretched out in front of them. Back to those crazy moments with his siblings and those wonderful times with his friends. At times, no matter how strange it sounds, he even wishes he was back at camp listening to one of Mr. D’s stupid lectures. He just wishes there was a way to turn back the clock and go back to the time when everything was still possible. Where the future he imagined, if he spend any time imagining it at all, was undoubtedly perfect. So is Elysium, of course – it is Elysium after all – and he is happy here, this is what it was all about after all, but it’s not the same. It doesn’t matter what he wishes because there is no way to go back. 

He’s worried. 

Percy is his friend after all. 

(He wonders, at times, if his friends ever think about him.)

But at least he can take comfort from the fact that Percy isn’t dead, at least not yet. After all, if he were he’d be here in Elysium with the rest of them. If he belongs here than Percy more than certainly does. 

Nico leaves almost immediately after arriving, going back to help the others search. And he wishes desperately he could join him – and he knows the others do as well. But they are dead, they are nothing but Ghosts of the past, whispers in the wind. Memories of times long passed that can never, no matter how much one wishes to, be recaptured. There is nothing they can do, not for Percy and not for their friends that are suffering right now. All they can do is sit here in their perfect place and hope that Percy won’t suddenly join them. 

 

IX. 

In the first week after Percy went missing, she prayed to her mother for guidance. 

She was sure back then that Athena would give her some, despite the fact that she knows her mother doesn’t really like Percy. But no matter how hard she prayed no guidance ever came. All she got, in the end, was a random meeting one afternoon and nothing but harsh words and a quest she’s not sure she can figure out. 

In the month that followed, she prayed to all the gods. 

Not just the Olympian gods, no all of them. She prays to his father and to her mother, she prays to the gods that like him and the ones that don’t. (Yes, she prayed to Ares, she was, after all, completely desperate.) She even prayed to Hermes, more times than she can count, even though she knows he doesn’t like her. It doesn’t really matter what he thinks about her because she knows that he really likes Percy, and that is more than enough in this situation. She even prayed to minor gods, she had never even considered praying for. She prayed and cried, she begged and questioned and at times, more so as the month came to an end, she yelled, but no answers ever came. The only answer that ever came was from Artemis, who send out her hunters to find Percy. (And she only found out because Thalia told her. On the other hand Artemis knows how close they are so she might have simply assumed that Thalia would tell her everything.) That night, after Thalia told her, she thanked Her but no response came. At least she knew someone was helping. 

In the second month, that followed his disappearance, she cursed all the gods. 

Every single one of them. 

Loudly. 

And still they did not answer. 

Still, they did not come. 

She’s beginning to truly understand what Luke felt like when he asked his father for help with his mother and was ignored. 

After that, she stopped praying. 

She wonders if that even makes a difference. 

It probably doesn’t. 

 

X.

Blackjack waits. 

There is nothing else for him to do after all, for nobody can hear him anymore –not that they ever actually could, but without the boss around to translate they can’t even understand him anymore. 

If he could the things he would tell them. 

It’s a good thing he doesn’t really know where the boss is because trying to get that message across would have been terrible. (But he would have managed it. Eventually.)

Sometimes, most of the time actually, he soars through the skies in a desperate attempt to find him. 

He never does.

In the end there is nothing for him to do but wait. 

Wait for the whistle from his boss that will call him to his side. 

It never comes.


	4. Part 4

I.

The moment off, it’s silent. 

Annabeth is dreaming of the before. Of her and Luke and Thalia running through the woods, trying to make it to safety. In her dreams they make it to the camp together and they live as the family they should have been. She dreams of Percy hanging out with them, doing stupid things. She dreams of campfires and laughter,of games and silliness and of happy worlds that should have been but never were. 

In her dreams she’s always happy. 

This is the last happy dream she will have for a very long time. 

They don’t last long. (But then they never do. She’s a half blood, there’s always a nightmare waiting around the corner.) At some point in the night the dream turns into something else. Suddenly Thalia is dying on the hill and turning into a tree before her eyes. Luke holds her hand as he dies, begging for her forgiveness and he always dies before she can. Her camp, her home, is in flames, and her friends and family lie dead around her at the battle of Olympus. And, in the end, Percy flies through the air as a mountain explodes beneath him. Then he’s lost in the darkness, screaming her name, while he burns his funeral shrine.

She wakes gasping, her heart beating so loudly she swears everyone can hear it.

Thankfully, she’s the only one awake. 

(She really doesn’t want to have that conversation again.)

It’s the moment off, but she doesn’t know that. She never will. That’s probably a good thing.

It’s okay, she tells herself, it was just a stupid dream. 

The moment after she falls asleep.

If she had any other dreams that night, she doesn’t remember it. 

 

II. 

The real problem, something that Will figured out pretty quickly, is that when your leader goes missing – especially if said leader just managed to get you through a war, fought a Titan ad saved Olympus and the whole freaking world in the process –everything else just sort of falls part.

And he does mean everything. 

Even if they pretend it doesn’t. 

Because the thing about having a great leader, especially one like Percy who’s nice to pretty much everyone, is that there is always someone to rely on. Someone there who can get you through the hard times, someone who can give you the answers, even if half the time he himself doesn’t have the answers. And yes, Will, knows that Percy didn’t have all the answers during the battle at Olympus.(He probably still doesn’t, wherever he is.) But he still held it together so completely that Will is pretty sure he managed to fool a lot, if not all of them.   
And even though Will himself realized that Percy didn’t have all the answers he was so composed and was such a good leader that Will never even though about freaking out. (Alright, so he did freak out when he saw the army, but, considering the size of that army, he’s pretty sure that would have happened if Percy had figured out all the details.) There’s also the fact that when you have a leader, great or not, there is always someone else to make the hard decisions. Someone else who has to decide when the time to act is, someone else who has to shoulder the responsibilities. Even,in some ways, someone else who gets to decide who lives and who dies. And Will knows, he knows, that is cold and wrong because it isn’t fair that someone else has to shoulder all of that. Especially not when that someone – like in Percy’s case – is younger than you, though, admittedly, not by much. Still, there is something comforting about having someone else there who has to make those choices. 

And when that person disappears or dies everyone else just feels lost. 

And there’s no one to make it better. 

No one to pick up the slack. 

No one there to take his place, at least until he comes back. 

There really should be someone. Someone to take on the mantle of leadership and guide them through this terrible time. It’s something that Percy would expect. (He’s not even convinced Percy truly considers himself the leader of their camp.) But it’s not what happens. Will thinks that is because there’s really nobody that can take his place, because Percy saved them all and how can you top that? It should be Annabeth, because she’s kind and smart and she’s the one who’s lived at camp the longest. But she’s just as lost as the rest of them – probably more – and she just doesn’t. 

He should do it. 

He should be the one to take on the mantle and help them through. He is one of the oldest at camp and people look up at him – though he doesn’t really understand why. (Will guesses he and Percy have that fact in common.) But he has known Percy, he had willingly followed him into battle, he’s seen him risk his life for his friends and family time and time again. And he knows, without a singular doubt, that he’s simply not good enough. He knows he can’t do it. If Percy were here he’d probably convince him that he can do it, that they already look up at him so it won’t be that hard. And it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t know what to do or how to even start helping them, he himself doesn’t have all the answers. (Nobody does, not even the gods, though Will never says that out loud. He doesn’t even think it just in case the gods can hear his thoughts.) But then if Percy were here they wouldn’t be having these problems.

He knows the others expect him to be the leader. 

(Especially since Annabeth seems unable to do it. At least at first.)

But he just can’t do it. 

He’s beginning to understand what Jake felt like when he had to take over from Beckendorf. At the time he thought that Jake was just overreacting. After al Jake was one of his best friends and Will had always known he was leadership material. But Jake was insecure and it showed. Jake might call a curse, but Will figures that the real problem is that their councilor doesn’t truly believe in himself. Now he understands, but unlike Jake he can ignore it. There are after all a lot of campers now, so surely someone else will be the leader.

But nobody does.

He does try though, but he doesn’t succeed. (Everyone else would say he did good, they would say they don’t know why he’s so worried.) 

He’s not meant to be a leader, it’s just not in his character. But if Percy never comes back – and he really, really doesn’t want to think about that to much – he might not have a choice. Maybe I’ll grow into it, he tells himself, maybe if I think that enough times I’ll believe it someday. He keeps hoping Percy comes back, not just because Percy is his friend, but also because then he won’t have to shoulder the responsibility. 

Maybe that’s selfish. 

It probably is. 

 

III. 

When she is told by Artemis that Percy has gone missing, she does not cry. 

Tears well up in her eyes, but she does not allow them to escape. 

She is stronger than that.

She is the leaders of the hunters of Artemis, after all, a half blood who has spent more time on the run than anything else. She fought in a war and somehow managed to survive. She’s lost more friends over the last few years than she cares to count. (One of them still shines bright in the sky at night.) The disappearance of one of her friends, even though it’s a close friend, will not break her, it will not make her cry. 

She is not going to shed a tear. 

She is not. 

Not even when her Lady looks at her, eyes overflowing with concern and sympathy, and tells her that there is a possibility that Percy might be dead. Though it breaks her heart and she truly wants to cry, she does not. She knows she can, nobody, after all, will blame her. Some of the other hunters might think it’s strange that she’s crying for a boy, but if their goddess says nothing about it, they certainly won’t. She doesn’t because the other hunters are standing behind her, waiting for her guidance, and they need her to be strong. Crying will accomplish absolutely nothing. She has to be strong so she can go on this quest and find her friend, strong, so that others – like Annabeth, and oh gods, poor Annabeth – can rely on her. 

There is no time to cry. 

No time to stop for a second and think about what has happened. 

Not time to do anything but start their search because Gods only knows what is happening to him right this instance. 

If she is going to cry, and she is going to do her best not to but should she not be able to fight it, she’ll do it later. 

There is no need for her to cry, she tells herself, because wherever he is, she is sure that he is alright. Unable to find a way to communicate with any of them, yes, but absolutely fine.   
That’s what she tells herself anyway because the alternative is too horrible to even contemplate. Because if he is dead, she’s not sure Annabeth can handle it, she’s not sure she herself can handle it or anyone else at camp for that matter. Especially not after all they have gone trough. And she can only imagine what will happen if he does turn out to be dead. 

But he is not. 

He cannot be. 

She believes that. 

And she ignores the tiny voice in the back of her mind that reminds her that even Artemis was worried about him, that even she did not know what in the Hades was going on. That alone, truly, should tell her something. 

But he has to be alive. 

(He is the hero of the story after all.)

They search everywhere, even in places Thalia knows Percy wouldn’t even be caught dead in. But it would seem that somehow her friend, her cousin, has managed to disappear into thin air. And seriously leave it up to Percy to disappear so completely not even a goddess can find him. The more they search, the less they find, the more worried Thalia gets and she knows that the others are getting worried about her. They don’t say anything, they never will, but she catches them looking at her with worry when they think she cannot see. She ignores them because it’s easier than having to have that conversation. 

It doesn’t matter how long it takes they will find him. 

Alive. 

Because he can’t be dead, he can’t be. 

At night, when they stop to rest, she stares up at the huntress in the sky. At night, when nobody watches her, she cannot stop the tears. She cries for Percy, who might be dead by now. She cries for Zoë, who runs trough the stars forever, and for Biance, whom she could not save. She cries for Luke, for the friend she could not save and would not believe. She cries for her little brother who has been lost for so long.   
She cries for all those she did not cry before.   
“Why,” she asks anyone who is listening. “Why must it always be this way? Why must we always lose? Please, whoever is listening, please don’t let me lot again. Please just give one of them back.”

The next day, to her surprise, she discovers that Jason was never dead. 

(She is never forgiving Hera for that one.)

She is happy. 

But she wonders, briefly, if that means that Percy is never coming back. She only asked for one of them to be returned after all. 

Surely the Gods would not be that cruel. 

She did not know after all. 

 

IV. 

When Percy first wakes he remembers nothing. 

In that first second when his eyes open, his mind is completely blank. He doesn’t know his name or anyone else’s, he doesn’t know where he came from or where he is. 

There’s just nothing. 

It’s the scariest moment of his life. 

(At least he thinks it is.)

It only lasts a second, maybe a few seconds actually, but it’s the longest moment of his life.   
He’s not sure why this happened. He thinks that maybe he woke up too soon. That Hera hadn’t figured out what he would be allowed to remember and what not.

It doesn’t matter. 

At first he remembered nothing. And then some things came back. 

(Like his name is Percy Jackson and his girlfriend is called Annabeth.)

He’s not sure what’s worse. 

 

V. 

Nobody actually tells him something has happened to his son. 

One second he just knew. 

It’s easy to figure out when this happened, and even easier to realize that he does not know what has happened. The ocean hasn’t, been calm since he found out. Perhaps he should do something about that, but he simply can’t. 

He wishes he knew what was going on. 

Or at least he wishes he could see where Perseus is. He doesn’t need explanations or anything else, he knows his son must resolve his own problems, he just needs to know. At least, he acknowledges, he knows his son has not died and gone to Elysium, because Hades would at least inform him of that. He is sure of that.

He is not allowed to search for him. 

He is not allowed to leave. 

(Sometimes he really hates Zeus’s rules. But he hates himself more for going along with it.)

He should be able to talk to Sally. 

Not that he has anything to say, not that she’ll want to hear anything from him, but he should speak to her. 

He should find a way to speak to Annabeth. 

To speak to the girl his son loves so much, even if she is a daughter of Athena, especially once she starts sleeping in his cabin. 

But there is nothing he can do. 

And then, one day, Perseus enters the ocean again and the sea’s are suddenly calm.

 

VI. 

Triton is not worried about Percy Jackson. 

He is not. 

He wants to make sure the world knows that, let them put that on the record. He is not worried about his brother. In fact, Triton might call him brother – his father has acknowledged him after all – but he does not feel like they are brothers. They’ve only had one conversation, he’s only seen him a handful of times, he does not care about him at all. 

Except he does. 

He can’t help it. 

But he is not worried about him. 

If it were up to him, he would be doing something else, something that’s actually productive. Instead, he’s spending his time searching the entire ocean for a brother that is gods knows where. He is not doing it because he is worried. He is doing it because Tyson cried. Because Tyson came to him, worried and crying and telling him he can’t find Percy. And he had not been able to stand it, he’s sure nobody could, and so he had promised him he would search underwater. 

He promised and so he will. 

He always keeps his promises, after all. 

But there is no way that he himself is worried about Percy Jackson. 

Triton wonders if anyone would actually believe that. 

 

VII.

Camp Jupiter was the last place Nico imagined he would find Percy. 

In fact it hadn’t even made it on the list. 

So truly, Nico can be forgiven for thinking he was finally losing it and seeing things. In fact, if Hazel had not been talking to Percy, he would not have believed that Percy was standing there. It seemed surreal that after so long, that after searching for him in so many places – and running into Thalia a few times – it would be here that would find him. 

Once his eyes land on Percy, Nico knows two things with absolute certainty. 

One, this is more than definitely the work of one of the gods. He doesn’t know which one, and he doesn’t know what they hope to accomplish, but there is no way this is a coincidence.

Two, Percy has some sort of amnesia. Because if he didn’t, if he remembered who he was, then there was no way his friend would be able to just stand there after seeing him. If he remembered Percy would already be here asking a million questions. 

The thing he realizes, once he accepted that Percy is in fact real, is that he can’t tell him anything. Not just because there is a god messing with Percy, one who clearly doesn’t want him to know anything – and Nico is so not making any god angry at him, he’s got enough troubles as is. But also because he simply has no idea what to tell him. Where would he even start? How is he supposed to explain the last few years of their lives? Even if he decided to try, he’s not sure he can accomplish it. But more than anything he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to talk about Bianca with someone who can’t remember her – and that is not his fault he’ll acknowledge that – it would hurt far too much. 

He’s not going through that. 

(Someday, he’ll try explaining that to Percy.)

Besides, it won’t matter, Percy won’t recognize him.

He’s not that important. 

So, when he finally ‘meets’ him there is nobody more surprised then him when Percy looks at him and says: “I know you.” And it’s not a question,though Hazel might think it is, it is a statement. He knows him well enough to hear the difference. And he can’t help but say the first thing that comes to mind: “Do you?” 

Percy smiles at him and holds out his hand. 

“I’m Percy,” he says. 

And all Nico can think is I know, I wish you knew too.

 

VIII. 

When Percy thought about it, he’d sort of assumed that the first real memory he’d have back – in which he remembered everything and understood every little detail – would be about Annabeth. 

It seemed logical. 

She was, after all, the only person he could remember. 

He suspected he’d remember something important about her, something that would tell him where he could find him. Once he remembered that, he’d figured, he’d remember his parents and his other friends, but Annabeth would be the first one. 

In a way he was right. 

He was, however, also wrong. 

His first memory was indeed of Annabeth, but it told him nothing of where he could find her or where he came from. It was off them, on a quest to find the golden fleece, at the bottom of the ocean. She was in his arms, crying because of a vision the sirens had shown her. 

The second memory that returns is about Clarisse, of all people. 

It’s that moment, at the battle of Olympus, when she’s attacking a drakon, on her own, because it had attacked her friend. 

(He is never, ever, ever, telling Clarisse about this. Ever.)

The third thing he remembers is his mother. 

For that he is grateful. 

After that the memories come in peaces and all of them come together. There is no way he’ll ever be able to figure out what he remembers first, if that even matters at all. Most of his memory has returned by the time they make it to Alaska. (He remembers Bianca’s dead when he hears Hazel scream. And in that moment he also remembers the look on Nico’s face when he told him his sister was dead. That is not something he wishes to go trough again, the memory is bad enough.)

The worst part about getting his memory back is that he had to relive every bad thing that happened.He had to go through everything again. If he ever finds out which God messed with him, he’ll give her (or him) a peace of his mind. Because his friends must be so worried about him. His mother must be so worried about him. And Annabeth, oh gods, poor Annabeth. 

If they survive this, and they must, he will find a way to get back to camp half blood. 

And nobody will stop him. 

Nobody. 

 

IX.

Annabeth is the one who tells her they found him. 

It happens late at night, while she’s eating with the hunters, and it takes every inch of willpower not to burst out crying out of sheer relief.

Well, the truth is they haven’t exactly found him, but they know where he is and they know he is alright. It is the best news Thalia has heard in months. They tell her he is in the place Jason has called home his entire life. And really, Thalia thinks, there’s some sort of irony in that. 

She wishes she could go with them. 

She wants to hug him and yell at him and slap him for worrying everybody. Not necessarily in that order. 

But she is the leader of the hunters of Artemis. She has a million things she needs to do and now that he has been found Percy is no longer on that list. 

She’ll settle for getting burgers with him and Annabeth when he makes it back to camp. 

She’ll see him then. 

She will.

No matter what.

 

X.

She stares ahead at the horizon and imagines they’ve already reached their destination. 

That they’ve already found Percy. 

That she’s already in his arms. 

That the past few months of pain and anguish are finally over. 

Annabeth wants him to tell her that nothing in the world will ever separate them again. 

But sadly they won’t be there until tomorrow. But at least, she reminds herself, she now knows where he is and she no longer has to live with the pain. 

She still does not pray. 

(She’ll pray when she’s in his arms again.)

She’s still not sure it ever mattered.


End file.
